Hello and first of all … wow bloody wow. I can’t believe it. I feel EXTRA (I am shouting this) privileged. Blessed. Like I’ve been elevated to some super duper status world where I am a saint and people haven’t yet but will start kissing my feet. You may know me as Fandango (my real name, check the electoral roll). For too many months I have been living in Iain’s shadow. Its always Iain this, Iain that, Iain is the great one. Bla bla boring. But after much pleading (and letting him win at connect 5) he found it in his heart to let me shine for once.. The conversation went a little something like this (hit it)

Iain - Do you want to write something for my new website?
Me - Me? Sure … but what should I write?
Iain - Anything you want, just make sure its funny and not shit.
Me - Ok. (easy)

Anyway back to our holiday in Greece. I would of course do anything for my man - steal, go to prison for 22 years. I could even be persuaded to eat a rattlesnake. I had always presumed Iain would do the same (apart from the rattlesnake bit. We went to a desert once where he had a “first one to blink” competition with a rattlesnake. Iain lost and nearly got eaten). I was wrong. In fact I am amazed I am alive and writing this today. We hired a motorboat one day and parked (can a boat be parked?) in the middle of the sea. No sharks, just turtles, but still. We decided to jump off the boat. BIG mistake. Why? Because we couldn’t get back on. And we were alone (apart from another boat full of English blokes laughing at us). Fast forward 40 minutes. Iain manages to get on the boat (bruised and bleeding). I am still stuck in the water. The conversation then went a little something like this;

Iain - I have no other option but to leave you here
Me - What?
Iain - I have no other choice
Me - I’m sorry, I don’t understand
Iain - You can swim can’t you? Well you swim to the beach while I bring the boat back
Me - You must be joking?
Iain- No

True story. Luckily I am a great swimmer. Anyway, I forgave him after he bought me a mars ice cream. Yum.
Over.
P.S - Vinny has asked for a shout out.